Gearslutz member The Byre posted this equally odd and awesome poem praising REAPER.
[please note, GS has a history (policy?) of deleting perfectly good threads and banning users for simply linking to external content. I've copied the entire post to protect it.]
Why we now edit and mix in Reaper!
ProTools was kewl, but not for fools
And the colours were cheerful and bright.
But we’re upgrading again and feeling the pain,
As the price is just no longer right.
And HD don’t work on a laptop,
Soundscape is not worth the bread.
A friend told me “I’ve – got Ableton Live,
But I think it’s just Ableton Dead.”
Pyramix is confusing, the thread I am losing
And the price is just way out of line.
The things that I need are hidden indeed
And still no elastical time.
Propellerhead Reason is so out of season,
Nuendo is way past its’ prime.
CuBase and Sadie, Majix Sequoia
All very nice, but the whole list will bore ya!
Illogical Logic, it just doesn’t make sense!
And keep feeding Avid Pounds, Shillings and Pence,
HD was fine, but I’m far from happy.
I need all those tools installed on my lappy.
So I phoned a friend and told of my woe
And how I was searching both high and low.
“And Apple will leave the PCM wicket,
So that HDX card, just where should I stick it?”
“There’s a software” he told me. “that’s just the ticket,
So you won’t need a card and you don’t have to stick it!
I speak of package that’s more than a DAW,
That does all HD does and very much more!”
“This is an ‘Über-DAW’ free to download,
That will light up your life and lighten your load.
It’s bundled with everything, so very soon
It’s goodbye to Waves and Autotune!”
“Solution, ablution and convolution,
Compressor, de-esser and noise resolution,
Retune, harmonize, cut, paste and nudge,
Find beats and quantise, you be the judge!”
I listened in awe as he listed the features
And how to mix WAVs with all other creatures.
“Just chuck ‘em together!” Oh, I was agog!
MP3, AVI, AIFF and some OGG.
“It comes complete with hundreds of plugs,
So buying the others is now just for mugs!
Scope, analyse, chorus and gleaming,
Transient designer and eight-channel streaming.”
“Hammer your sounds and tune-up pink noise,
Then remodulate with all your new toys.
When nobody’s looking, slip in a repeater
And impress the girls with your Goniometer!”
I put down the phone and got to installing.
Imported some WAVs and it was enthralling,
As the room filled with music, oh, I was ecstatic,
As mixing and routing was all automatic!
The edits were easy, in fact, like a dream
And squeezing and stretching – all perfectly clean!
For those who get lost, there’s more help for them.
Just right-click and pick! No more RTFM!
But should you get lost and confusion has smitten,
There are 400 pages, all perfectly written!
Soon all the World will be hooked on Reaper
Because it’s much better and not just much cheaper!
Now, sloppy drums are all MIDI-fitting.
I click them away with some Dynamic Splitting!
No more struggles with building a mixer and routing
When out in the room, some fat bird is tooting!
But I have spent thousands and thousands of Pounds
On flashy gear, to get better sounds.
Struggling manfully as I got older
With miles of cable and kilos of solder.
Under desk crawling, the feeling was galling,
As box after box, I was installing.
Now all replaceable, better and cheaper,
A couple of screens and a download called Reaper!
So, what do I do with all this gear
That sits in the studio year after year?
Flog ‘em all off, the Eventide
And Lexi Nine-Sixty (Motorola inside)?
Transient Designer, KulTube, I’ve got ‘em,
Aural Exciter with Optical Bottom,
Stick ‘em on ebay, reserve at five grand.
(No Nigerian bidders, postage inland!)
Should I throw it all out, with Pro Control,
Leaving behind a dirty big hole?
Or leave them all standing for all to see
How windswept and groovy I used to be?
But one thing is certain, that 60-frame Neve
Will always be with us, it never shall leave!
Not for the pre’s and the eq’s so rosy,
But for the heat, as it keeps the place cosy!